


do not look to the past, for there is naught but ash

by intothenowhere (orphan_account)



Series: Many Pathways, Many Choices [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Friendship, Gen, Loss, Self-Insert, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 14:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18284033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/intothenowhere
Summary: Volya Doneeta finds herself in another Jedi Temple, building another lightsaber, when she comes face to face with a mentor she thought was long dead....





	do not look to the past, for there is naught but ash

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my completely self indulgant, semi canon compliant au with my favoritest Jedi OC, Volya Doneeta, wherein she basically gets to hang with my favorite characters, gets trained by Master Bant Eerin, and babysits Jacen Syndulla ✌️
> 
> Title credit goes to Indy (emikoqueene), and the inspiration of this scene goes to Star Wars Rebels 1x07 (which is referenced in this fic). The characters Surris, Misi, and Eko belong to stxrduste, seraf michael, and evaceratops in that order - a reference to our ongoing campaignverse.
> 
> Enjoy, I hope you all do!

"Your fourth saber, this is. Disappointed, am I."

Volya's eyes flew open at the voice - the fluid grammar, the twinge of humor there. The foggy and damp temple around her seemed for a moment warm and filled with life, rather than dust.

"Master Yoda?"

A giggle, behind her. She turned, and saw him. He looked no different than the last time she saw him. "Good to see you, it is. Much about you, changed there has." He said it not unkindly, but the words stung nonetheless.

"It's been awhile," Volya admitted, suddenly sheepish in front of her old master. She felt like an unsure child once more.

"Decades, has it been. Learn much, you have. As much, you have lost." Yoda's ears fell. "Yes, much you have lost. Sympathies, you have of mine. A bright star, Surris was. Learn, have you, of Misi and Eko's fates?"

"They're both gone, too." Volya answers, lowering her head. "They all are. Ezra and Kanan, too. It's like anyone I get close to, I lose."

Yoda didn't answer. Instead, he dropped to the ground in a meditation pose. When Volya didn't follow suit, he opened one eye at her, inclining an ear toward the spot in front of him.

Volya stopped herself short of a sigh, and fell into position opposite of him. He told her to close her eyes, so she did - warily. Part of her was afraid that if she did, when Volya opened them again, she would be alone.

"900 years, I am. Lost much, I have." Yoda paused. "A burden, this may feel to one so young. An ache, present always, is it for me. Shape you, these losses do; molds us, tragedy does. Lose your way, easy it is - focus, you must."

"Focus on what though?" Volya asked, "the Force isn't what it use to be - the Galaxy is -"

"To bend to your sentiment, do you expect the Force? Fluid, life is. Always moving. Forward, never behind. Guide you, the past can. Hold you back, it can also."

Volya opened her eyes - as she feared, Yoda was gone. Just as disappointment settled in her stomach, something hard whacked her on her shoulder. She yelled, whirling around to see Yoda standing patiently behind her with his cane.

"Lose your way, you cannot. Focus on the past, heavily you do. Chain you, this does. Let go, you must."

"How do you expect me to let go, when the personification of my past is standing in front of me?" Volya snapped, "How can I let go of my entire people? My family?"

"Need you, the future does. The past does not." Yoda said, without flinching at her heated tone. "Trust yourself, you do not."

"Of course I don't! I haven't a single clue as to what I'm supposed to be doing, or how I'm supposed to be doing it. I've got no one to lean on, no one to ask -" Volya slumped. "I'm alone. I'm the last one, now."

"Presumptuous, you are, to believe you are all that remains. The Force remains, does it not? Before you, I stand. Lost to the stars, Bridger may be, but alive is he. Kanan's son, strong will he be. Alone, you may feel. But alone, you are not."

Volya looked up at him, "What am I suppose to do, then? Am I to train Jacen? Help restore the Order?"

Now Yoda seemed remorseful, his ears drooping. "Answers, I do not have. Find them, alone you must. Yourself and the Force, you must trust. Need you, the Galaxy does. A Jedi, you are. Why?"

Volya blinked, "Sorry?"

"Heard me, you did. A Jedi, why do you wish to be?"

"I'm already a Jedi -" Volya spluttered.

"No, you are not. Lost your way, you have." There was no anger in his voice, no disappointment. Just a sadness that she hadn't seemed to realize this herself. "Many titles, you have held. Knight. Diplomat. Sentinel. Bounty Hunter. Smuggler. Rebel. A Jedi, you are no longer."

Volya blinked back tears, struggled to find an argument but couldn't form words past the hurt. Yoda reached out, taking her hands in his.

"Knighted, Eerin wanted you to be. Young, were you. A pledge you made, left anytime you wished, you could have. Yet, you stayed. Why?"

His eyes were wide, non-judging. Volya wanted nothing more to provide an answer, but it hurt to think back to that day, to one of the happiest moments of her life when she now knew it would all come crashing down so soon after.

Swallowing thickly, Volya closed her eyes and conjured the memory. The shadowy room, the knights and masters, the speech. Bant, watching proudly. Volya's braid, made entirely of beads, sliced off, and falling into her too small, shaking hands.

"Because the Jedi were my family," Volya whispered. "I felt safe. I never wanted to leave."

"And now?"

Volya opened her eyes, a sob lodging itself in her throat as her eyes began to burn. It was like a beast was trying to claw it's way out of her. "I want to protect them. The people I have left. The people the Empire hurts....I want to keep everyone safe, to feel as safe as I did in the temple. To protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Yoda smiled, "Much like you, Bridger was. The spirit of a Jedi, you have, as well as a heart of kyber. A worthy combination, one that must not be taken lightly. A warrior, are you now." He sighed, "This path, wanted for you I did not. Sorry, am I....but proud, too."

Volya swallowed again, as a tear slipped down her cheek. "T-thank you."

Yoda tapped her again with his cane, "Continue forward, you shall. A Jedi, you will be, should you trust in yourself. A final trial, you must face." He stood aside, solemn, as he motioned toward a darkened corridor. "Alone."

Volya glanced between him and the corridor...between her past and her future. She stood up on shaky legs, and took a step forward. Then another. Until all was dark.


End file.
